One friend suggested that my current ankle injury is my body telling my mind and soul to stop running away, from my worries, from my fears, from my obligations. And it's true I want to run away, I want to run and not stop until I reach the horizon, not the one place I glimpse at the beginning, but the ever-changing one, the end of the earth. I want to run and find where the road becomes track, where the track becomes dirt, where the dirt becomes grass, just run, run, run. And I am running away, but I'm running away so that I can come back again. So that I can spend the negative inside my heart and mind and come back a clean slate to take on the challenges of every day.
And now that has been taken away from me, with no way of knowing when, if ever, I will be healthy enough to resume. I have gone through many different emotions: anger, resentment, depression, despair, all the while my mind bouncing around in my skull, wanting to scream....I know in the grand scheme of life, this setback seems trivial. I have a healthy, happy family, a secure life, a loving husband, but for the first time I am realizing that running isn't just a form of exercise for me. It's a way of life, something that I need to keep me level, grounded, and alive--not in the literal sense, but alive in the sense that I feel energy and life coursing through my veins.